I now officially hate Comcast.  Except that they do have really fast Internet.

We got Comcast cable high-speed Internet at the beginning of the summer.  John signed the contract, and Tim and I paid him.  This was working out until our second month, when John mentioned that he still didn’t have the first bill.  So, he called Comcast.  They said he should get a new bill within the week.

The next week, without the bill, John called them again.  Turns out they had the wrong address (John may have said the ZIP code was 37315 rather than 37302, which is the next ZIP code over).  So, they said they’d fix it and send another bill.

The next week (this is the third week of trying to get a bill from Comcast), John decided that the phone calls just weren’t working, so he wrote a letter.  Yes, the snail mail kind, explaining our issue.

That was a couple of weeks ago.

We do not have a bill.

John is away for the week.

Two days ago I called Comcast.  I waited more than 30 minutes on hold.  Nobody answered.  So, I went to their website and joined the line (of 15 people) to chat with a representative.

More than 30 minutes later, “Analyst Anne” (not joking) started the chat.  I explained that we had money waiting for Comcast, they just needed to take it from us.  I stressed that Comcast wouldn’t let us pay.  I also wrote out our entire address.

I forgot to mention this–it’s important:  we didn’t have a “valid” account number.  This makes talking to Comcast annoying.  Every time John called Comcast, they gave him a new number, all of them invalid.

So, Anne asked for the account number.  I explained our predicament.  So, she needed all kinds of info.  I called John so he could relay to me the info needed.  Address.  She apparently forgot I gave it before.  So, I wrote it.  Full name.  Turns out it’s Jonathan Freese, not John Freese.  So, I told her that.  Last four digits of SSN.  I guess John trusts me, cause he gave it to me, and I her.

So, she ran “health checks” and other junk.  She found out that we were two months behind.  Imagine that!  I was right!  And she gave me the amount due.  It sounded like more than it should be.  So I asked a few times if there was a “past due” charge.  After about the third inquiry, she said that there was, for $7.00.  Of course, I don’t like paying for things out of my control.  So, I asked to have this removed, and for a way to pay.  She said that she would make a note of it, and when we paid, they would investigate to see if we deserved $7.00 of credit back.  Well, I didn’t think that was good enough, but she did.

By the end of a more-than-one-hour-long chat, she had figured out what our problem was, given us a new account number, and promised us a bill within 72 hours.  I saved the transcript.

By yesterday evening, we had our Internet cut off.

When I got home, I immediately troubleshot the issue.  It was Comcast’s doing.  So, I called Comcast.  I went through the automated stuff, then started to listen to the atrocious music.  Tim came downstairs to help out if needed (apparently he can be a very good angry customer when he needs to be, but so can I when it’s as stupid an issue as this).  So, I put it on speaker and we sat there waiting and talking about other random stuff for a while.  Then THERE WAS A VOICE!  The guy quickly assessed our situation (actually trusted us, too) when we told him all the info and offered a quick solution.  He added a digit to our account number (apparently we were one digit short–imagine that!).  He said that as a one-time courtesy, he’d take off the $7.00 charge (immediately) and transfer me to the automated pay-by-phone service.  I was thrilled!  When I asked if I could get the phone number for future phone payments, he told me that there should be a way to get there from the main automated menu.

Well, he transfered me, after I thanked him sincerely.  I started keying in my account number and such, then it told me the balance to pay:  over $90.  That was the right number, for three months, but I realized that I didn’t really want to do it at the moment.  I mean, I’ve paid John already.  So, I hung up.  I called John and left a message for him to pay by phone.

I then called Comcast again to see if I could get to the number again.  After following every route in the automated menu, I got in line again for customer service.  After another half-hour (or more, I think) of leaving it on speaker so I could do other things, my phone’s battery ran out.

Turns out there is no way to get to the payment by phone without first talking to a Comcast rep.  Seriously.  That’s what I found out after another half-hour this morning.  So I gave John the account number over the phone, and he found a way to pay online (apparently we now had a valid account number–that helps).  So, we now have Internet access again.

Why does Comcast make it so difficult to pay our bill?!  Seriously, I said MANY times (in all caps, no less) that we “WANT TO PAY OUR BILL”.  I asked things like, “WHY WON’T YOU LET US PAY?!”  Not kidding.  I asked more than five times in my chat with Anne.  Nobody told me I could pay by phone until the guy last night I talked to.  Nobody told me that to accomplish such a feat again would take years of phone-waiting.

I hate Comcast.

Note:  If you don’t believe something like this could happen, I could email you the transcript (minus account info, SSN, etc.).  It’s quite true.  Or, you could just call 1-800-COMCAST.  You’ll find that you get a human almost instantly by dialing (3, I think) to add service.  If you have a billing inquiry, you will have the longest wait.  I didn’t try dialing to discontinue service (although I’m guessing they don’t even answer that phone), though I considered it.