In response to the recent depth
My fellow bloggers have taken a recent turn to posts of religious depth. People have been commenting, response-posting, and thinking a lot. This post is in response to solitarytellurium’s comments on a post by my good friend Robby.
I want to be closer to God, but at the same time, sometimes I just feel like letting go of everything. I want to live, and I’m afraid living isn’t good enough. I want more. I feel incomplete – like there is a vital part of me that isn’t there anymore. I’d really like a connection with God to be what makes me whole again, but I have no idea where to start.
I started to comment, and ended up with a sermon. Sorry for its length, but I couldn’t stop until I was satisfied with my answer. In writing it, I affirmed some of my own beliefs. I hope it at least provokes thought.
solitarytellurium, for a start, you can find something you most enjoy, be it food, books, music, the beach, and then find a good use for it. For me, it’s music. I find great release in music. During the school year, I help lead out in hymn sing. During the summer, I’ve been writing music, singing in a virtual choir (Eric Whitacre’s amazing!) and going to a church that makes music a big part of the service (even if I don’t like all the songs). I also like the outdoors. I used to bike to work, but now I find even more pleasure walking the 1/2 hour.
If you find something you enjoy, God can use it and use you through it. For instance, you may have thought mentioning food earlier was either just a poor attempt at a joke, or just plain idiocy. It was neither. When I went to Brazil on our choir tour (how’s that for fulfilling all I desire in two weeks?), I could not believe the food! I tried many new fruits (including the delicious mangosteen, which I HIGHLY recommend) and marveled at God’s handiwork.
Praying is just one way to get in touch with God. In fact, a very celebrated author once mentioned that music in a worship service was of more value than anything else. I tend to agree, and I sometimes dream of starting a church service with primarily music one day. That is my best way to talk to God–through song.
If you’re truly seeking God, that is not emptiness of thought. Quite the contrary; it is the beginning to letting God in.
You mention that you sometimes feel like letting go. That’s exactly what you need to do! God’s love is not under your control. You cannot “encourage” His love any more than it is. There is nothing you need to do to gain his love. Sometimes, working for His love, we make it all about us… when all we see is ourselves, we can’t tell that God has been reaching to us the entire time. God’s already done the work for us. All we need to do is accept.
If you just scroll down (or look in the archives just previous to this post), you’ll see that I recently ranted for a good length of time about Comcast. It’s actually a grand example of the relationship between us and God. God is like the distraught customer (I don’t dare claim that I, a distraught customer, am even a slight resemblance of God, but this is a metaphorical allegory of sorts). We are like Comcast. All God wants to do is heap blessings on us. We refuse to send Him the invitation, or even provide a way for Him to contact us. We insist that He isn’t doing enough for us, and that we do want His love, but we continually put up a false front. God keeps saying, “BUT ALL I WANT TO DO IS GIVE YOU LOVE!!!” We then continue to ask for his address, for his social security number, just to make sure he’s for real, and not just some guy out to tie up our lives and communications lines with nonsense. We put Him on hold indefinitely. We play for Him atrocious music.
I could take this metaphor on forever. But the point is, the place to start is ground zero. Just let Him get to you. He gets to me every time I hear a good chord struck in an Eric Whitacre composition. What’ll it be for you?