Try our new and improved Insta-Sick Ultra, a nearly invisible product you can find at your local college! With millions of carriers worldwide, Insta-Sick Ultra is one of the most talked-about products this year. You can sign up today for free by simply interacting with the people around you. Yes, it is that simple.
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!!! If you think that the highly communicable Insta-Sick Ultra is not ultra enough, we’ll throw in Uber-Insta-Behind-In-Homework 3.5 for free! That’s right, every product in the Insta-Sick line is guaranteed to make it difficult to keep up with homework and classes. In fact, people everywhere are proclaiming their combined effectiveness:
“…it…really made me…behind…in homework….” –[Insta-]Sick [recipient]
“I…love…that [Insta-Sick]” –Bob
“[Insta-Sick] is [absolutely amazing] and [effective]” –[thrilled] student
We are so confident that these products will work as advertised that if you are not satisfied with them in any way, we will send along replacements within the week.
So mingle with your Insta-Sick Ultra -using friends today!
*Insta-Sick is not for children or old people and is not effective on those immunized. Not tested on animals, especially swine (the CDC loves swine).
In case you’re wondering, I’m not feeling well. I don’t know what it is, nor do I care. So what if it’s swine flu?! It’s the flu!!! It probably isn’t, but it doesn’t make a difference. Anyway, don’t let me cough or sneeze on you.